Blogs work on a renewable issue of a web domain. My domain expires in 24 days and is up for renewal. I started thinking about where I was when this started–Las Vegas, wanting to have more of a portfolio for magazines.
Maureen, fashion guru, had just finished my interview with Vegas Seven lifestyle magazine. “Oh, you have a blog? That’s good,” she said. Writing five favorite quotes of Netflix’s Jiro Dreams of Sushi had done the job.
Fast-forward to today. Cleaning out cluttered cabinets, I found my 9th grade diary. It is crazy how many things have changed and yet how many things are still the same.
At this point, amidst another move, I revisit my 14-year-old self. Keeping a journal allows you to see the bits of yourself in a new light. It’s objective, because it is from a familiarly new perspective. In old diaries we re-read a story whose end is know. We are attached yet removed.
For instance, I see patterns in my life through the journal. I see how I use relationships to fix the broken bits of life. I see how green and happy I was at 14. How I was unapologetically in-tune with my emotions, in everything from a friend pinching my arm in the hall between classes, a compliment in math class, and a grandparent’s passing.
In this way I clearly see and appreciate how my life was and is filled with love.
I complained nonetheless
and my mother is still sick.
And I still have amazing teachers: thank you, Mr. Bell for giving me comfort after I didn’t make the tennis team. That forgotten moment was huge at the time. “Lo siento.”
Through the journal I can see different veins and layers of life. I was trying to grow up so fast. I guess I still am.
In light of this new blog renewal, I am celebrating with a weekly sharing of poetry. This is an intimate piece of mind. Many of you may not know that I enjoy poetry. However, I’ve been awarded in competitions and festivals. I write because it is something that bubbles. It is how I best experience life. Life has shown me that sharing is scary, but it is by far less scary than not-sharing.
Thank you for reading.
Tuning an instrument creates
pleasant music. Imagine what
tuning yourself can do.
Reach up, let go.